I didn’t realize at the time that my stint …2½ yrs. could
have affected me so much, but it certainly did and has. Remembering the way I
felt, the inability to be me, to have to play games to make sure all was in
harmony…Wearing orange, seeing orange. Everything was orange and grey. Very
depressing. I feel a lot from what my eyes see and if it is not pleasant, I get
depressed; kind of like people that need sunshine.
I know if
you play you’ll pay so I was alright with my downfall but it never goes away. I
got out, or should I say I flew over the
chain link in 2010. Not so long ago but I’m 56 years old.
It’s hard at any age to make life work when you’ve been
out of reality for any length of time.
Just to
let you all know, with what is written so far on my blog about GOD is not because
I’m a Jesus freak. I love my God, when I get out of my own way to let Him be in
control. I don’t know about you, but I can’t do life by myself, I need help. I
didn’t find God behind the chain link, I always believed. I just wanted to do
my own thing but whatever anyone compromises to keep, he will lose. It is a
daily sometimes hourly process to regroup and get out of my own way.
Anyway, I
wanted to let that be known so as to not
turn anyone away from something they might enjoy or benefit from.
I am writing
this in a journal so I can put the worthy stuff on my blog, ‘cause I do tend to
ramble on.
I will try to write about my experience, good, bad, ugly
or indifferent so you can have an idea of my own experience. Life was not
supposed to be a struggle but our decisions cause our consequences.
Don’t you just hate that?
Be back hopefully soon. Would love to hear from you and
yours .
Luv, Top Bunkie
I can't wait to hear more. I think there must be a story behind scuse me that I would love to hear.
ReplyDeleteShe was orange and chubby and had a lisp when she talked. No one wanted to sit with her at chow. Mind you, I tried to get along with everyone but this was major rude and embarrasing. I was in the "tents" , five bunks on one side and five on the other. This gal would talk and talk then one night while I was trying to stay in my own space, feeling old and ugly andout of place , she has the gull to lisp and spit to me from the other side saying, "scuse me mam, but did you fart?"
ReplyDeleteI was speachless and beyond words. That was it. I decided then and there I would not sit with her at chow either. So there, take that ha!
what a hoot. laughing is healing, eh?
ReplyDelete