Sunday, August 4, 2013
My beloved lost sister is one of the saddest testaments to our bankrupt society. She should never have gone to prison. She needed love and understanding and help.
I'm her sister and knew her her whole life. As a tiny little girl she had mental anguish issues. She started out her life, fearing the future and trying desperately to control internal turmoil with things outside of herself. What we didn't know (as a society) then for helping people with this kind of mental suffering is part of what skewed her lifelong journey and left her, as Dr. Gabor Mate says, "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts". She could never satisfy the disturbances in her brain and no one knew how to help her. It's a tragedy, heartbreaking beyond tolerance.
This blog is just a little glimpse into the talent and beauty of her. She was wonderful, and sorely to be missed. She had come back to where I live a few months before she left us all. We had some wonderful times, loving each other and being glad to be together again. It will be my life's biggest regret that I "encouraged" her to go to Texas in the first place.
What I have learned about addiction is that the best hope for anyone to recover is for them to be loved just exactly as they are. I wasn't always able to do it. I wanted to, but it is very hard indeed. When you see a loved one suffering, you want to "fix" them. Have the answers. Find the cure. She loved me for my attempts to help. It is unconditional love that can work miracles. Any kind of stress is the worst possible crippler . Treating someone in this condition to prison, should be a crime.
I saw the lead picture today on a blog entitled Suspension of Disbelief. I follow Cristian Mihai and enjoy his writing.
Up until just recently, now nearly six months since her passing, I have been unable to believe I won't see her drive "Mitzi" (her little white Mitsubishi truck) up to my gate and see her and her flaming burgundy-red hair dance out of her car and up to me and hear here say, "Hi Says!". That's what she called me.
If only she could have found a place in her mind to go that felt safe and peaceful. If only.
I will miss her forever or until we are joined in Heaven. It will be a great day indeed.
I miss you so much, Poopsie.