Sanity….
I had always
been into working out; used to run 5 K.s back in the day (even made my sis do
one with me that I have a picture to blackmail her with). So to keep my sanity, I decided to start
running around the POD! It was very small. I would run and count my laps and
when it got to 1000 I went by the clock yes, we even had a clock. Joy, joy.
Nothing like watching the minutes click by while you’re in The Waiting Place…..
I would run
until I felt the “runner’s high” (anything to get a lift in my mind and spirit).
I don’t know
about you out there, but I believe my mind is missing an enzyme that it needs
to function properly. I have abused
myself to prove this wrong but it comes down to the same realization, something
is not quite right! Lord, take the madness. Too bad I won’t let go to let
God. That’s a hard one. To completely
surrender yourself to Faith is a little tough. You tend to backtrack when you
don’t even realize it. But God is good.
I just have to get out of my own way, easier said than done, and go through the
door that he has opened for me. I think I try too hard and blow it out of the
water. Can you relate? Does anyone out there have a similar dilemma?
I wish you would let me know. I would love feedback.
So to finish
my story…. My feet were breaking down because we only had shower shoes; but
being determined, I put a Kotex in each shoe and it was wonderful for a minute
(until I kept getting busted for being out of compliance and using prison
property wrongly)…But I stood tall and defied them. Somehow they knew I would go insane without
my running..
