I didn’t realize at the time that my stint …2½ yrs. could have affected me so much, but it certainly did and has. Remembering the way I felt, the inability to be me, to have to play games to make sure all was in harmony…Wearing orange, seeing orange. Everything was orange and grey. Very depressing. I feel a lot from what my eyes see and if it is not pleasant, I get depressed; kind of like people that need sunshine.
I know if you play you’ll pay so I was alright with my downfall but it never goes away. I got out, or should I say I flew over the chain link in 2010. Not so long ago but I’m 56 years old.
It’s hard at any age to make life work when you’ve been out of reality for any length of time.
Just to let you all know, with what is written so far on my blog about GOD is not because I’m a Jesus freak. I love my God, when I get out of my own way to let Him be in control. I don’t know about you, but I can’t do life by myself, I need help. I didn’t find God behind the chain link, I always believed. I just wanted to do my own thing but whatever anyone compromises to keep, he will lose. It is a daily sometimes hourly process to regroup and get out of my own way.
Anyway, I wanted to let that be known so as to not turn anyone away from something they might enjoy or benefit from.
I am writing this in a journal so I can put the worthy stuff on my blog, ‘cause I do tend to ramble on.
I will try to write about my experience, good, bad, ugly or indifferent so you can have an idea of my own experience. Life was not supposed to be a struggle but our decisions cause our consequences.
Don’t you just hate that?
Be back hopefully soon. Would love to hear from you and yours .
Luv, Top Bunkie